A Visitor's Guide

You have all been so wonderfully patient and understanding with your desire to see mom. So, I thought I'd put up some information that might help you schedule a visit if you would like to come.

First, 3-5pm is the most reliable and convenient visit times for us.

Second, we find that 3 people or less helps mom engage and enjoy conversation without taxing her too greatly.

Third, 20-30 minutes is ideal.

Fourth, if you or a member of your household is ill, I'm very sorry, but please phone to speak with her as we are trying to keep her environment free from infection.

Fifth, please phone us to let us know you're coming. The houseline is fine.

Sixth, please forgive us if we need to cancel at short notice.

I hope that's helpful. I'm really just trying to communicate our needs in answer to many who are asking. Please feel free to call, I'd be happy to talk with you.

Day 80

Hope.

It is so easy to lose hope. It takes courage not to let the grief of the loss that has not yet come steal the hope of what still can be. There is a dark, warm and inviting room that beckons the tormented to come and sit and forget; to close our eyes to the gnawing pain of a loved one in harm's way.

But, when we hole up too soon, we also close our eyes to the beauty, the wonder that it is before us. Hope opens your eyes. Yes. We see suffering more clearly. We also see miracles: the power of love when family comes together.

I ask you to hold tight to hope with me. Your hope gives my hope strength.

Mom's condition has progressed with great speed. She is returning home today from a brief hospital visit after her digestive system was not able to process food due to the spread of the cancer to her intestinal area, her stomach and her lungs. After consulting with the doctor's and talking with mom, we have decided to bring her home with hospice care.

I know many of you want to know how to help and the only thing I know to tell you is:

Do not lose hope. Our family may reach out to you for some practical needs and if you have anything you'd like to share or bring, you are welcome. Joshua came home last night and I know he'll need your support now too. We all do.

Thank you for joining us on this journey and know, the journey is not over...

Day 72

I can't tell you what a comfort it is to know that so many of you are out there reading this right now. You are each so essential to our lives and make them all the more meaningful with your continuous support.

Mom and I successfully got through out tests yesterday. I'm still awaiting my results, but we did meet with Dr. Pan this morning to discuss the results from mom's CAT Scan. As it turns out, the Folfirinox was not as effective as we had hoped. Although there are signs of improvement on the tumor in the Pancreas, the lesions on her liver have grown. She also has some accumulated fluid from the liver, which we'll need to keep an eye on.

So, our next step is to change her treatment from the Folfirinox to a combination of Gemcidabine and Tarceva. The Tarceva (a protein inhibitor) is a daily pill, which she's already begun taking. Gemcidabine (the chemo) will be given every week for one hour. She will have 3 weeks on, one week off and so on beginning next Tuesday. After 2 months, mom will have another scan to see if this new regimen is successfully halting the growth of the cancer.

The good news is that the side effects should be more manageable for mom. My hope is that she will find a renewed energy and appetite. Thanks to your support and encouragement we were successful in coping with the last treatment as I'm sure we will be in this. Please let me know if you have any questions, I'm here.

My love to you all.